达摩流浪者台湾商务版梁译《达摩流浪者》不完全勘误

http://firedragoon.blogbus.com/logs/25595868.html

说明：本文仅针对台湾商务印书馆出版的梁永安译《达摩流浪者》，也就是网上常见的所谓“颜峻版”，subjam版，或称蓝羊版。上海译文出版社出版的梁永安译本据称已经过校订，但本人尚未得见。诸位网友可以根据此文进行更细致的核对。但据部分网友初步的反馈，上译版的修改仅是微调。

Update：上译版补齐了部分漏译的段落，但仍然有若干处漏译。具体参见下文注释。

本文仅列出了明显的错译漏译，而不针对翻译风格及对词句的具体理解进行批评。但纵观全篇，梁译本仍有多处对于复杂的英文结构敷衍了事的翻译，例如将十余词甚至数十词的复杂长句翻译为一个四字成语或是短句的情况便比比皆是。由于精力有限，未能将这些一一列出。

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第一章

“偌大的一片柔软的沙滩，就只有我一个人，自由自在而无拘无束，大海在我的旁边愉快地叹息着。”一句后漏译原文一句共15词（with the Ma-Wink fallopian virgin warm stars reflecting on the outer channel fluid belly waters）

第二章

“他其它诗歌，有一些是能反映他对动物的爱的抒情诗行（如写熊吃浆果的一首），有一些是能显示他渊博的东方知识的神秘诗行（如他写蒙古的犁牛的一首）。”一句后，漏译原文一句共13词（Then Japhy showed his sudden barroom humor with lines about Coyote bringing goodies.）

“而据贾菲说，这些石头和小树都是他爬山的时候从山上带回来的，因为他想把他的住处营造成一间"日本式的茶屋"。”后漏译原文一句共12词（as there was a convenient pine tree soughing over his little domicile）

第六章

“……黎凡特诸国有一整代人都是以拉古萨语作为外交语言。当然，这是土耳其人的压力所造成的。”后漏译四段，百余词（上译版已补齐）

So he'd ask himself the question out loud: "Can you secure Christmas with an approximation only eighteen million seconds left of the original old red chimney?"

"Sure" says Japhy laughing.

"Sure" says Morley wheeling the car around increasing curves "they're boarding reindeer Greyhound specials for a pre-season heart-to-heart Happiness Conference deep in Sierra wilderness ten thousand five hundred and sixty yards from a primitive motel. It's newer than ***ysis and deceptively simple. If you lost the roundtrip ticket you can become a gnome the outfits are cute and there's a rumor that Actors Equity conventions sop up the overflow bounced from the Legion. Either way of course Smith" (turning to me in the back) "and in finding your way back to the emotional wilderness you're bound to get a present from . . . someone. Will some maple syrup help you feel better?"

"Sure Henry."

第十三章

“可不要不小心踩到了兔崽子！”我在醉中喊道。

后漏译两段，数十词

"And little Japanese boys in the F train sing Inky Dinky Parly Voo!" I yell.

"And the mountains live in total ignorance so I don't give up take off your shoes and put 'em in your pocket. Now I've answered all your questions too bad give me a drink mauvais sujet."

第十九章

像下雪的时候，我就写道：“不常有，这圣雪，多轻柔，我这鞠躬。”一句后漏译一整句（上译版已补译）

and at one point I wrote "The Four Inevitabilities: 1. Musty Books. 2. Uninteresting Nature. 3. Dull Existence. 4. Blank Nirvana buy that boy."

在一个梦里，我听到如下的话：＂痛苦，那不过是小老婆所发的怨叹。＂后漏译一整句

But in Shakespeare it would say "Ay by my faith that bears a frosty sound."