Sometimes They Bite《我徜徉了那么久才得以入眠(成人童话的乐与乐)》

下面是这个短篇集里我最喜欢的故事。讲的是一个老男人生活中的种种不顺（和儿子有分歧，同女儿有矛盾，家里黄脸婆不省心，小情人又闹……还莫名其妙地不知道惹了哪个仇家害得被打了几枪），最终一一化解，得以坦然面对死亡。

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And Miles to Go Before I Sleep 我徜徉了那么久才得以入眠

Lawrence Block

When the bullets struck my first thought was that someone had raced up behind me to give me an abrupt shove. An instant later I registered the sound of the gunshots and then there was fire in my side burning pain and the impact had lifted me off my feet and sent me sprawling at the edge of the lawn in front of my house.

子弹击中我时，我第一印象居然是有人冲到我身后猛地推了我一把。过了片刻我才确定听到的是枪响，接着我的身侧象着了火，火辣辣地剧痛。我被子弹的撞击力冲得腾空飞起，五体投地地跌到自家屋前的草坪边上。

I noticed the smell of the grass. Fresh cut the night before and with the dew still on it.

我闻到了青草的味道。昨晚刚修过的草皮，点点露珠挂在叶片上的清新气息。

I can recall fragments of the ambulance ride as if it took place in some dim dream. I worried at the impropriety of running the siren so early in the morning.

我能隐约忆起救护车载我的情形，朦朦胧胧地如坠梦中。我很是郁闷，大清早的，何必救护车警报拉得山响地扰民呢。

They'll wake half the town I thought.

我估摸着，半个城市的人都被他们给吵醒了。

Another time I heard one of the white-coated attendants say something about a red blanket. My mind leaped to recall the blanket that lay on my bed when I was a boy almost forty years ago. It was plaid mostly red with some green in it. Was that what they were talking about?

再次醒来，我听到一个白衣护士说什么红毯子的事。我的意识一下子跳回到小时候铺在我床上的那床红毯子，可那大约是四十年多年前的事了啊。格子花呢大红杂绿的红毯子。他们说的是那张毯子吗？

These bits of awareness came one after another like fast cuts in a film. There was no sensation of time passing between them.

这些个片段不时浮现，仿佛电影的快速剪切。快得觉不出时光的流逝。

I was in a hospital room. The operating room I suppose. I was spread out on a long white table while a masked and green-gowned doctor probed a wound in the left side of my chest. I must have been under anesthetic—there was a mask on my face with a tube connected to it. And I believe my eyes were closed Nevertheless I was aware of what was happening and I could see.

我是在医院里，我猜是在手术室。我被摊平了放在一张白色的长桌上，这是一位身着绿袍戴着口罩的医生正在探查我胸部左侧的伤口。我该是处于麻醉状态——有根管子连着的面罩遮着我的脸。况且，我相信自己的眼睛该是闭着的；然而，我却依然有知觉，而且我能看见。

I don't know how to explain this.

这种情形我也不知道该怎么解释。

There was a sensation I was able to identify as pain although it didn't actually hurt me. Then I felt as though my side were a bottle and a cork were being drawn from it. It popped free. The doctor held up a misshapen bullet for examination. I watched it fall in slow motion from his forceps landing with a plinking sound in a metal pan.

这真是种神奇的体验。我仍然保有同感，但却不会感到疼痛难忍。然后我就觉得有个软木塞从一名为身体的瓶子里被拔了出来。瓶塞砰的一声弹入空中。然后看到医生在夹着一块奇形怪状的弹头仔细端详。我看着它以慢镜头离开医生手中的镊子，叮的一声掉到金属盘里。。

"Other's too close to the heart" I heard him say. "Can't get a grip on it. Don't dare touch it way it's positioned. Kill him if it moves."

我听见他说：“另外一粒离心脏太近，夹不到。不敢冒险，它所处的位置太棘手了。稍有偏差就会要了他的命。”

Cut.

卡（镜头切换）。

Same place an indefinite period of time later. A nurse saying "Oh God he's going" and then all of them talking at once.

也不知道过了多久，我还是在手术室里。只听一个护士说：“噢，天啊，他快不行了，”随即就是一堆人在嚷嚷。

Then I was out of my body.

接着我离开了自己的身体。

It just happened just like that. One moment I was in my dying body on the table and a moment later I was floating somewhere beneath the ceiling. I could look down and see myself on the table and the doctors and nurses standing around me.

它就这样自然而然地发生了，难以名状。这一刻，我还躺在手术台上垂死的身体里，下一瞬，我就在天花板下飘来飘去了。从这向下打量，能看到自己躺在手术台上，医生和护士围着我团团转。

I'm dead I thought.

我想：我是死了。

I was very busy trying to decide how I felt about it. It didn't hurt. I had always thought it would hurt that it would be awful. But it wasn't so terrible.

我急于体会这是种什么感觉。并不痛苦，我还一直以为会很疼感觉会很糟糕。但实际上没那么恐怖。

So this is death I thought.

我就想，这就是所谓的死亡了。

And it was odd seeing myself my body lying there. I thought you were a good body. I'm all right I don't need you but you were a good body.

看着自己的身体躺在那儿，还是蛮别扭的。我暗忖，真是一副好皮囊，但我现在感觉挺好，用不着你了，虽然你是个蛮不错的身体。

Then I was gone from that room. There was a rush of light that became brighter and brighter and I was sucked through a long tunnel at a furious speed and then I was in a world of light and in the presence of a Being of light.

随即我离开手术室。一道光芒，越来越明亮，猛地把我吸引到一条长长的隧道里，接着，我就进入了一个光的世界，面对着一个纯是光体的存在。

This is hard to explain.

很难形容的啦。

I don't know if the Being was a man or a woman. Maybe it was both maybe it changed back and forth. I don't know. He was all in white and He was light and was surrounded by light.

我不知道这个存在是男是女。说不定是雌雄同体，不停变来变去也难说。我是不清楚。反正他通体铮白，既是光，又被光包围着。

And in the distance behind Him were my father and my mother and my grandparents. People who had gone before me and they were holding out their hands to me and beaming at me with faces radiant with light and love.

I went to the Being I was drawn to Him and He held out His arm and said "Behold your life."

And I looked and I could behold my entire life. I don't know how to say what I saw. It was as if my whole life had happened at once and someone had taken a photograph of it and I was looking at that photograph. I could see in it everything that I remembered in my life and everything that I had forgotten and it was all happening at once and I was seeing it happen. And I would see something bad that I'd done and think I'm sorry about that. And I would see something good and be glad about it.

And at the end I woke and had breakfast and left the house to walk to work and a car passed by and a gun came out the window. There were two shots and I fell and the ambulance came and all the rest of it.

And I thought Who killed me?

The Being said "You must find out the answer."

I thought I don't care it doesn't matter.

He said "You must go back and find the answer."

I thought No I don't want to go back.

All of the brilliant light began to fade. I reached out toward it because I didn't want to go back I didn't want to be alive again. But it all continued to fade.

Then I was back in my body again.

"We almost lost you" the nurse said. Her smile was professional but the light in her eyes showed she meant it. "Your heart actually stopped on the operating table. You really had us scared there."

"I'm sorry" I said.

She thought that was funny. "The doctor was only able to remove one of the two bullets that were in you. So you've still got a chunk of lead in your chest. He sewed you up and put a drain in the wound but obviously you won't be able to walk around like that. In fact it's important for you to lie absolutely still or the bullet might shift in position. It's right alongside your heart you see."

It might shift even if I didn't move I thought. But she knew better than to tell me that.

"In four or five days we'll have you scheduled for another operation" she went on. "By then the bullet may move of its own accord to a more accessible position. If not there are surgical techniques that can be employed." She told me some of the extraordinary things surgeons could do. I didn't pay attention.

After she left the room I rolled back and forth on the bed shifting my body as jerkily as I could. But the bullet did not change its position in my chest.

I was afraid of that.

I stayed in the hospital that night. No one came to see me during visiting hours and I thought that was strange. I asked the nurse and was told I was in intensive care and could not have visitors.

I lost control of myself. I shouted that she was crazy. How could I learn who did it if I couldn't see anyone?

"The police will see you as soon as it's allowed" she said. She was terribly earnest. "Believe me" she said "it's for your own protection. They want to ask you a million questions naturally but it would be bad for your health to let you get all excited."

Silly bitch I thought. And almost put the thought into words.

Then I remembered the picture of my life and the pleasant and unpleasant things I had done and how they all had looked in the picture.

I smiled. "Sorry I lost control" I said. "But if they didn't want me to get excited they shouldn't have given me such a beautiful nurse." She went out beaming.

I didn't sleep. It did not seem to be necessary.

I lay in bed wondering who had killed me.

My wife? We'd married young then grown apart. Of course she hadn't shot at me because she'd been in bed asleep when I left the house that morning. But she might have a lover. Or she could have hired someone to pull the trigger for her.

My partner? Monty and I had turned a handful of borrowed capital into a million-dollar business. But I was better than Monty at holding onto money. He spent it gambled it away paid it out in divorce settlements. Profits were off lately. Had he been helping himself to funds and cooking the books? And did he then decide to cover his thefts the easy way?

My girl? Peg had a decent apartment a closet full of clothes. Not a bad deal. But for a while I'd let her think I'd divorce Julia when the kids were grown and now she and I both knew better. She'd seemed to adjust to the situation but had the resentment festered inside her?

My children?

The thought was painful. Mark had gone to work for me after college. The arrangement didn't last long. He'd been too headstrong while I'd been unwilling to give him the responsibility he wanted. Now he was talking about going into business for himself. But he lacked the capital.

If I died he'd have all he needed.

Debbie was married and expecting a child. First she'd lived with another young man one of whom I hadn't approved and then she'd married Scott who was hard-working and earnest and ambitious. Was the marriage bad for her and did she blame me for costing her the other boy? Or did Scott's ambition prompt him to make Debbie an heiress?

These were painful thoughts.

Someone else? But who and why?

Some days ago I'd cut off another motorist at a traffic circle. I remembered the sound of his horn his face glimpsed in my rearview mirror red ferocious. Had he copied down my license plate determined my address lain in ambush to gun me down?

It made no sense. But it did not make sense for anyone to kill me.

Julia? Monty? Peg? Mark? Debbie? Scott?

A stranger?

I lay there wondering and did not truly care. Someone had killed me and I was supposed to be dead. But I was not permitted to be dead until I knew the answer to the question.

Maybe the police would find it for me.

They didn't.

I saw two policemen the following day. I was still in intensive care still denied visitors but an exception was made for the police. They were very courteous and spoke in hushed voices. They had no leads whatsoever in their investigation and just wanted to know if I could suggest a single possible suspect.

I told them I couldn't.

My nurse turned white as paper.

"You're not supposed to be out of bed! You're not even supposed to move! What do you think you're doing?"

I was up and dressed. There was no pain. As an experiment I'd been palming the pain pills they issued me every four hours hiding them in the bedclothes instead of swallowing them. As I'd anticipated I did not feel any pain.

The area of the wound was numb as though that part of me had been excised altogether. But nothing hurt. I could feel the slug that was still in me and could tell that it remained in position. It did not hurt me however.

She went on jabbering away at me. I remembered the picture of my life and avoided giving her a sharp answer.

"I'm going home" I said.

"Don't talk nonsense."

"You have no authority over me" I told her. "I'm legally entitled to take responsibility for my own life."

"For your own death you mean."

"If it comes to that. You can't hold me here against my will. You can't operate on me without my consent."

"If you don't have that operation you'll die."

"Everyone dies."

"I don't understand" she said and her eyes were wide and filled with sorrow and my heart went out to her.

"Don't worry about me" I said gently. "I know what I'm doing. And there's nothing anyone can do."

"They wouldn't even let me see you" Julia was saying. "And now you're home."

"It was a fast recovery."

"Shouldn't you be in bed?"

"The exercise is supposed to be good for me" I said. I looked at her and for a moment I saw her as she'd appeared in parts of the picture of my life. As a bride. As a young mother.

"You know you're a beautiful woman" I said.

She colored.

"I suppose we got married too young" I said. "We each had a lot of growing to do. And the business took too much of my time over the years. And I'm afraid I haven't been a very good husband."

"You weren't so bad."

"I'm glad we got married" I said. "And I'm glad we stayed together. And that you were here for me to come home to."

She started to cry. I held her until she stopped. Then her face to my chest she said "At the hospital waiting I realized for the first time what it would mean for me to lose you. I thought we'd stopped loving each other a long time ago. I know you've had other women. For that matter I've had lovers from time to time. I don't know if you knew that."

"It's not important."

"No" she said "it's not important. I'm glad we got married darling. And I'm glad you're going to be all right."

Monty said "You had everybody worried there kid. But what do you think you're doing down here? You're supposed to be home in bed."

"I'm supposed to get exercise. Besides if I don't come down here how do I know you won't steal the firm into bankruptcy?"

My tone was light but he flushed deeply. "You just hit a nerve" he said.

"What's the matter?"

"When they were busy cutting the bullet out of you all I could think was you'd die thinking I was a thief."

"I don't know what you're talking about."

He lowered his eyes. "I was borrowing partnership funds" he said. "I was in a bind because of my own stupidity and I didn't want to admit it to you so I dipped into the till. It was a temporary thing a case of the shorts. I got everything straightened out before that clown took a shot at you. They know who it was yet?"

"Not yet."

"The night before you were shot I stayed late and covered things. I wasn't going to say anything and then I wondered if you'd been suspicious and I decided I'd tell you about it first thing in the morning. Then it looked as though I wasn't going to get the chance. You didn't suspect anything?"

"I thought our cash position was light. But after all these years I certainly wasn't afraid of you stealing from me."

"All those years" he echoed and I was seeing the picture of my life again. All the work Monty and I had put in side by side. The laughs we'd shared the bad times we'd survived.

We looked at each other and a great deal of feeling passed between us. Then he drew a breath and clapped me on the shoulder. "Well that's enough about old times" he said gruffly. "Somebody's got to do a little work around here."

"I'm glad you're here" Peg said. "I couldn't even go to the hospital. All I could do was call every hour and ask anonymously for a report on your condition. Critical condition that's what they said. Over and over."

佩姬说：“很高兴你来了，我差点就去医院看你了。我只能一个劲的往医院去电话，扯个幌子时刻关注你的状况。濒临危笃，这是他们的原话，每次都是这一句。”

"It must have been rough."

“大致没错啦。”

"It did something to me and for me" she said. "It made me realize that I've cheated myself out of a life. And I was the one who did it. You didn't do it to me."

“这对我来说意义重大也意味深长。让我意识到我在自欺欺人，放着好好的日子不过。我就是那个把一切搞砸的人。而你从未伤害过我。”

"I told you I'd leave Julia."

“可我有跟你说要离开茱莉的。”

"Oh that was just a game we both played. I never really expected you to leave her. No it's been my fault dear. I settled into a nice secure life. But when you were on the critical list I decided my life was on the critical list too and that it was time I took some responsibility for it."

“哦，那是我俩在玩的小游戏。我并不是真的要你离开她。不，这都是我的错，亲爱的。我安于现状。而一旦你濒临险境，我觉得自己的生活也面临危机。是该到我担起责任的时候了。”

"Meaning?"

“什么意思？”

"Meaning it's good you came over tonight and not this afternoon because you wouldn't have found me at home. I've got a job. It's not much but it's enough to pay the rent. You see I've decided it's time I started paying my own rent. In the fall I'll start night classes at the university."“我要说，很高兴你是晚上来这而不是下午，要是你下午来我不在家。我找了份工作。没几个钱，但足够付房租了。你看啊，我觉得是该到自立的时候了。到秋季我还要到大学里去读夜校。”

"I see."

“明白了。”

"You're not angry?"

“你不生气？”

"Angry? I'm happy for you."

“生气？我为你高兴还来不及。”

"I don't regret what we've been to each other. I was a lost little girl with a screwed-up life and you made me feel loved and cared for. But I'm a big girl now. I'll still see you if you want to see me but from here on in I pay my own way."

对于我们俩能在一起我没有什么好遗憾的。我起先是个什么都不懂的小女生，你的关心爱护对我来说难能可贵。但我现在是大姑娘了。你想我的时候，我还是会时时和你碰面，从现在起我要自己负担自己的生活了。

"No more checks?"

“不再要零花钱了？”

"No more checks. I mean it."

“我是认真的，我不再要你的钱了。”

I remembered some of our times together seeing them as I had seen them in the picture of my life. I was filled with desire. I went and took her in my arms.

这让我想起了我俩在一起的美好时光，我渴求这种温馨，于是我走过去把她抱进怀里。

She said "But is it safe? Won't it be dangerous for you?"

她问道：“但这样安全吗？对你来说不会有危险吧？”

"The doctor said it'll do me good."

“医生说这对我有好处。”

Her eyes sparkled. "Well if it's just what the doctor ordered—" And she led me to the bedroom.

她眼睛亮晶晶地说：“如果这是医生的嘱托——”然后她把我引向了卧室。

Afterward I wished I could have died in Peg's bed. Almost immediately I realized that would have been bad for her and bad for Julia.

后来，有那么一瞬，我甚至希望自己能就这么死在佩姬的床上。但立刻马上我就意识到这个愿望对她来说欠妥，对茱莉也不公平。

Anyway I hadn't yet done what I'd come back to do.

况且，我也还没干完我从鬼门关回来该做的事。

Later while Julia slept I lay awake in the darkness. I thought This is crazy. I'm no detective. I'm a businessman. I died and You won't let me stay dead. Why can't I be dead?

过后，茱莉睡着后，我在黑暗中眼瞪瞪的躺着。暗想，***疯了。我又不是侦探。我只是个老实本分的商人。我快要死时你却阻止了。干嘛我就不能死去呢？

I got out of bed went downstairs and laid out the cards for a game of solitaire. I toasted a slice of bread and made myself a cup of tea.

我下了床，到楼下铺开扑克玩单人纸牌游戏。给自己泡了杯茶还烤了片面包。

I won the game of solitaire. It was a hard variety one I could normally win once in fifty or a hundred times.

牌戏我居然赢了。这是种很复杂的牌戏，原来五十次甚至一百次里我都未必能赢一次的。

I thought. It's not Julia it's not Monty it's not Peg. All of them have love for me.

我暗忖，不是茱莉，不是芒偍，也不是佩姬。他们所有人都那么爱着我。

I felt good about that.

这让我倍感欣慰。

But who killed me? Who was left of my list?

但究竟是谁要杀我呢？我开列的嫌疑人里漏了谁呢？

I didn't feel good about that.

这让我感到窝火。

The following morning I was finishing my breakfast when Mark rang the bell. Julia went to the door and let him in. He came into the kitchen and got himself a cup of coffee from the pot on the stove.

第二天早上，我正吃早餐马克就来敲门了。茱莉去开门让他进来。他进得厨房径直拿起炉上的咖啡壶给自己倒了杯咖啡。

"I was at the hospital" he said. "Night and day but they wouldn't let any of us see you. I was there."

他说：“我有去医院，日夜守候，但他们谁也不让见。我有在那儿。”

"Your mother told me."

“你母亲告诉我了。”

"Then I had to leave town the day before yesterday and I just got back this morning. I had to meet with some men." A smile flickered on his face. He looked just like his mother when he smiled.

“我前天不得不离开，今早刚回。我和别人有事要面谈。”说着他不禁露出了笑容。他笑的时候象他母亲。

"I've got the financing" he said. "I'm in business."

他说：“我筹集到资金了，我自己做买卖！”

"That's wonderful."

“真是太棒了。”

"I know you wanted me to follow in your footsteps dad. But I couldn't be happy having my future handed to me that way. I wanted to make it on my own."

“我知道你想让我跟随你的步伐，爸。但我要是不能把握自己的未来我是不会开心的。我想按自己的路子走。”

"You're my son. I was the same myself."

“你是我儿子，我也一贯如此。”

"When I asked you for a loan—"

“当我向你借款的时候——”

"I've been thinking about that" I said remembering the scene as I'd witnessed it in the picture of my life. "I resented your independence and I envied your youth. I was wrong to turn you down."

回忆往昔的生活，当时的情景历历在目。“我有考虑过，而我当时深怨你的独立，又嫉妒你的年轻，我拒绝你是错的。

"You were right to turn me down." That smile again just like his mother. "I wanted to make it on my own and then I turned around and asked for help from you. I'm just glad you knew better than to give me what I was weak enough to ask for. I realized that almost immediately but I was too proud to say anything and then some madman shot you and—well I'm glad everything turned out all right dad."

如他母亲般的笑容再次展现：“你拒绝我是对的。是我自己要凭意愿行事，却又转背求助于你。我几乎是立马就明白过来，但我脸皮太薄也就没说什么，接着就某个疯子拿枪打你——好咯，爸，很高兴一切顺利。”

"Yes" I said. "So am I."

我答到：“是呀，我也是。”

Not Mark then.

所以，也不是马克。

Not Debbie either. I always knew that and knew it with utter certainty when she cried out "Oh daddy!" and rushed to me and threw herself into my arms. "I'm so glad" she kept saying. "I was so worried."

更不是黛碧。我一直都确信不是她，当她失声痛哭的扑向我，叫着“哦，爹爹”地一头撞进我怀里，我更是确信无疑。她还一停不停地念叨着“真是太好了……我担心极了……。”

"Calm down" I told her. "I don't want my grandchild born with a nervous condition."

我安慰道：“安啦，我可不想外孙是从惴惴不安的肚皮里爬出来。”

"Don't worry about your grandchild. Your grandchild's going to be just fine."

“别瞎操心，你的外孙好着呢。”

"And how about my daughter?"

“那我的乖女呢？”

"Your daughter's just fine. Do you want to know something? These past few days wow I've really learned a lot during these past few days."

“女儿我也好着呢。你想知道啥？这些天来，哇，过去的这些天我还真是涨了好多见识。”

"So have I."

“我也是呀。”

"How close I am to you for one thing. Waiting at the hospital there was a time when I thought God he's gone. I just had this feeling. And then I shook my head and said no it was nonsense you were all right. And you know what they told us afterward? Your heart stopped during the operation and it must have happened right when I got that feeling. I knew and then I knew again when it resumed beating."

“我们哥俩好，我先说我先说。在医院那等着的时候，我不禁想‘天啊，他就这样去了。’我有这样想过，接着我就摇头对自己说‘瞎，胡说八道，你好着呢。’你知道接着他们怎么对我们说的？你的心脏在手术期间停跳了，估摸着就是我瞎胡想的那时候。后来，后来我就知道你又恢复心跳了。”

When I looked at my son I saw his mother's smile. When I looked at Debbie I saw myself.

我看着儿子，我看到的是他母亲的音容笑貌。而我看着黛碧的时候，我看到的其实是我自己。

"And another thing I learned and that's how much people need each other. People were so good to us! So many people called me asked about you. Even Philip called can you imagine? He just wanted to let me know that I should call on him if there was anything he could do."

“我还意识到，我们大家还真是彼此依赖啊。大家都很好人。好多人都来电话，向我询问你的情形。连大飞都打来了，你想得到吗？他就是想让我知道，有什么用得着的尽管开声。”

"What could he possibly do?"

“他能帮到什么？”

"I have no idea. It was funny hearing from him though. I hadn't heard his voice since we were living together. But it was nice of him to call wasn't it?"

“我不知道哟。听他这样讲还真是滑稽。我和思科住一起后就再没他的音信。不过他能来电话还真是好人，不是吗？”

I nodded. "It must have made you wonder what might have been."

"What it made me wonder was how I ever thought Philip and I were made for each other. Scott was with me every minute you know except when he went down to give blood for you—"

“我也纳闷当初怎么会觉得大飞和我很登对。思科才是时时刻刻陪伴着我的人，尤其是他还给你输血……”

"He gave blood for me?"

“他给我输血了？”

"Didn't mother tell you? You and Scott are the same blood type. It's one of the rarer types and you both have it. Maybe that's why I fell in love with him."

“妈没告诉你？你和思科的血型是一样的。是种罕见的血型，而你俩恰好都是。指不定我就是因为这才爱上他的。”

"Not a bad reason."

“这理由不错。”

"He was with me all the time you know and by the time you were out of danger I began to realize how close Scott and I have grown how much I love him. And then when I heard Philip's voice I thought what kid stuff that relationship of ours had been. I know you never approved."

“他一直陪着我，而且，一待你脱离了危险，我就悟到思科的好，而我也成熟起来了——我是那么地爱思科。所以后来接到大飞电话，我就想着我和他当年的感情是何其幼稚。我知道你向来不赞成我跟他。”

"It wasn't my business to approve or disapprove."

“我赞不赞成无关紧要。”

"Maybe not. But I know you approve of Scott and that's important to me."

“大概吧。不过我知道你很看好思科，这对我来说就很重要。”

I went home.

我回家了。

I thought What do You want from me? It's not my son-in-law. You don't try to kill a man and then donate blood for a transfusion. Nobody would do a thing like that.

我暗斟：老天爷你究竟想怎么着？不是我女婿干的。你不会先拿枪打某人转背又输血给他。没谁会这么干。

The person I cut off at the traffic circle? But that was insane. And how would I know him anyway? I wouldn't know where to start looking for him. Some other enemy? But I had no enemies.

难道是在路口被我超车的那家伙？真那么想才是有病。况且我又怎么去查验呢？我都不知道到哪儿去找他。或是别的什么仇敌？但我没仇人啊。

Julia said "The doctor called again. He still doesn't see how you could check yourself out of the hospital. But he called to say he wants to schedule you for surgery."

茱莉说：“医生又来电话了。他仍不明白你怎么就能够出院了。可他还是来电说想同你确定一下手术的时间。”

Not yet I told her. Not until I'm ready.

还不到时候，我这样答她。等我准备好先。

"When will you be ready?"

“那你究竟什么时候准备好?”

When I feel right about it I told her.

到时就知道了，我正告她。

She called him back relayed the message. "He's very nice" she reported. "He says any delay is hazardous so you should let him schedule as soon as you possibly can. If you have something to attend to he says he can understand that but try not to let it drag on too long."

她给医生回了电话。回来向我通报道：“他真是好人。他说无论因何事耽延，都是在冒险，所以想让你同他尽快把时间定下来。如果你有什么事情耽搁了，他能理解，但希望不要拖太久。”

I was glad he was a sympathetic and understanding man and that she liked him. He might be a comfort to her later when she needed someone around to lean on.

我很高兴他是个极富同情心又善解人意的好医生，难怪妻子喜欢他。过后指不定他还能好好安慰安慰她，等到她亟需温暖怀抱依靠的时候。

Something clicked.

时间越来越紧了。

I called Debbie.

我给黛碧去电话询问。

"Just the one telephone call" she said puzzled. "He said he knew you never liked him but he always respected you and he knew what an influence you were in my life. And that I should feel free to call on him if I needed someone to turn to. It was nice of him that's what I told myself at the time but there was something creepy about the conversation."

黛碧满心疑虑的答到：“大飞只来了个电话，他说他知道你一贯不喜欢他，但他还是很敬重你。也知道你在我心目中的地位。我要是有什么需要，随时可以联系他。当时我就觉得，他真好人。但我还是觉得他说话鬼鬼祟祟地。”

And what had she told him?

那她都怎么答他的呢？

"That it was nice to hear from him and that you know my husband and I would be fine. Sort of stressing that I was married but in a nice way. Why?"

“我就说很高兴他来电，然后，你知道啦，就说我和丈夫会很幸福的。稍稍强调了一下我是有夫之妇，但语气和善。有什么不妥吗？”

The police were very dubious. Ancient history they said. The boy had lived with my daughter a while ago parted amicably never made any trouble. Had he ever threatened me? Had we ever fought?

警察很是犹疑。他们说这是老生常谈。小崽子以前和我女儿同居过一阵，看着憨厚老实，从不捅什么篓子。他是否曾恐吓过我呢？我们是否有过争执呢？

He's the one I said. Watch him I said. Keep an eye on him.

就是他，我坚持说。我让他们监视他。我是这样说的：把他盯牢了。

So they assigned men to watch Philip and on the fourth day the surveillance paid off. They caught him tucking a bomb beneath the hood of a car. The car belonged to my son-in-law Scott.

于是他们派了个人盯着大飞，到第四天，监视解除了。他们逮到他往辆车的引擎盖下塞炸弹，而车是我女婿思科的。

"He thought you were standing between them. When she said she was happily married well he shifted his sights to the husband."

“他起先认为是你在碍事。等到你女儿说她婚姻幸福美满，于是，他就把目标转移到丈夫身上了。”

There had always been something about Philip that I had not liked. Something creepy as Debbie put it. Perhaps he'll get treatment now. In any event he'll be unable to harm anyone.

一直以来我都不喜欢大飞，总觉得他有哪不对劲。正如我女儿黛碧形容的那样：鬼鬼祟祟地。很可能他这会儿也在接受治疗。好在，他再也没法伤害任何人了。

Is that why I was permitted to return? So that I could prevent Philip from harming Scott?

这是否就是我起先得以重生的缘由呢？以便我能阻止大飞伤害思科？

Perhaps that was the purpose. The conversations with Julia with Monty with Peg with Mark and Debbie those were fringe benefits.

很可能这就是预期目标。至于我得以和茱莉、芒偍、佩姬、马克还有黛碧一一密谈，那只是捎带的优惠罢了。

Or perhaps it was the other way around.

也可能实际情形恰恰相反。

All right.

也罢。

They've prepared me for surgery. The doctor understanding as ever called again. This time I let him schedule me and I came here and let them prepare me. And I've prepared myself.

他们准备给我动手术了。医生，依旧善解人意，又再次来电了。这次我听任他安排，于是我回到这来任他们筹划安排。我自己已经筹备好了。

All right.

来吧。

I'm ready now.

这次我准备好了

——————————————————————————

我一直很是怀疑主角生活中的那些烦心事其实就是在说卜老头他自己。Sometimes They Bite 我最喜欢的中年童话故事集，在没有弄到Block 的短篇大合集Enough Rope以前，这本是我最喜欢向小资腐女推荐的好书。最近刚弄到了它的AudioBook，等车的时候听听，也算是种休息了。

还要补充一下，这个故事集里的短篇，by大多有译，也算是造福大众了！