杰奎琳的秘密回忆《Elle》

市面上和她有关的书我读遍了，却越来越读不懂她。

原因是那些书以这个风华绝代的第一夫人为出发点归因，总说她早年种种就注定了她的不平凡。仿佛这样说才对得起人们对传奇和童话的向往。

那么人们读这种书是为了什么呢？也许是为了依葫芦画瓢，复制心中偶像的经历的“彼可取而代之也”。也许是为了满足一下自己的痴心妄想，然后再次确信自己终究是个凡人的“大丈夫当如此也”。

我对杰奎琳那么痴迷，不得不说两种心情都是有的。首先她是女人的典范，其成就可以概括为：先嫁与世界上最有权利的男人，后嫁给世界上最富有的男人——好事都让她占了。这份resume是不容怀疑的。

然而盖棺定论前的曲曲折折又岂是可以一言而尽的呢。这就是这本书的不同之处。书中的杰奎琳以第一人称喃喃自语，对将来浑然不觉，她只是在自己的环境里存在着，努力着，挣扎着。得与失几乎是一样大的。

这就是一个女人拼尽全力度过一生的故事。正如作者在后记里说：“在探索他的感情生活的过程中，我的看法也在改变，认为杰基精神上的演变神秘且具有某种象征性——那是女性灵魂在苦难的拷问下发生蜕变的过程。”

这时耳边回想起一首歌

and now the end is near

and so i face the final curtain

my friends i'll say it clear

i'll state my case of which i'm certain

i've lived a life that's full

i travelled each and every high-way

and more much more than this

i did it my way

regrets i've had a few but then again too few to mention

i did what i had to do

i saw it through without exemption

i planned each chartered course

each careful step along the by-way

and more much more than this

i did it my way

yes there were times i'm sure you knew

when i bit off more than i could chew

but through it all when there was doubt

i ate it up and spit it out

i faced it all and i stood tall

and did it my way

i've loved i've laughed and cried

i've had my fill my share of losing

and now as tears subside

i find it all so amusing

to think i did all that

may i say "not in a shy way"

oh no oh no not me

i did it my way

for what is a woman what has she got

if not herself then she has not

to say the things she truly feels

and not the words of one who kneels

the record shows i took the blows

and did it my way